Things I've learned while watching True Blood (3)

Make sure you do a background check on the person giving you an exorcism before you fork over $799.95.

Never kidnap and try to keep a Vampire as a pet.

Don't ever let a stranger bail you outta jail no matter how desperate ya are.

It's OK to dress like a tramp, but people had better treat you like a lady no matter what.

Make sure you keep a beautiful white night gown around. You never know when you're going to run through the woods to have sex for the first time in your life with a dam fine looking Vampire.