You've watched too much True Blood if ....

* This is the very last of the You've watched too much True Blood if ....


You're reading The Shock Doctrine and listening to Dengue Fever to get to know the characters better. (But you tell yourself it's educational.)

When you are this close to writing a TB fanfic. (save me)

When anyone says that they are thirsty you automatically think of Malcolm.

You go on a junk food binge just to spite Amy and her clean food, clean soul, Gaia crap.

You start a diet and exercise program to tone up, because you don't ever want to be referred to as a "doughy f*ck".

You now check yahoo news for Shreveport, LA even though you live in Seattle.

You've watched too much True Blood if

You know you've watched too much True Blood when you want to travel to Sweden

You hear a song on the radio and think "this would make a good Loving True Blood in Dallas "True blood video of the day song."

Every time I do something really stupid I think "Jason Stackhouse, you is one stupid bitch."

Sookie all of a sudden sounds like a good name for your firstborn. Or Bill, if it's a boy.

You've watched too much True Blood if

...when that really annoying person at work pisses you off, the first thought in your mind is "jihad this!"

...you consider vacationing in Louisiana just to hear people talk cute Cajun a la Renee.( yes, we've heard some and yes, we are in Louisiana on vacation)

....when you rent and remain riveted for the whole episode through their incomprehensible English accents waiting for glimpses of Stephen Moyer.

You start commenting to people at work, "Don't worry about it, chere."

You know you've watched too much True Blood when...

You start calling all your friends "hooker!" and go about wondering if so and so has a demon...

You sign up and post on a message board for the first time in your life just so you can communicate with other people who are as obsessed as you are. ( dedicated today to new friends)

...someone at work points out that you dropped some of your lunch on your sweater, you immediately breathe a sigh of relief that it's veggie soup and not vampire in your cleavage.

...you consider getting a Wii just to see if you can beat Bill's score.

Please post yours....

You know you've watched too much True Blood when...

When you inform your dog that “Glamor” doesn’t work on you, as they stare you down in hopes you will drop whatever it is you are eating.

When your husband and kids start referring to you as Sookie, just to get your attention.

When you find yourself RSVP-ing to events on Facebook like Sam's Birthday Bash and Merlotte’s Mardi Gras Party and you wonder what to wear

You know you've watched too much True Blood when...you wanna get bite marks tattoos on your inner ties

When your Dr tells you that you need to start taking B-12 and folates because you are a bit anemic and you wonder “ Hmm wait, who bit me ?”

You know you've watched too much True Blood when...you understand every single southern expression on the show (and that's hard for a Brazilian)

when that really annoying person at work pisses you off, the first thought in your mind is "jihad this!"

Thanks to everyone who is sending them to me - send me you favorites !
Truebloodindallas@gmail.com

You know you've watched too much True Blood when...

When running around naked in the early morning doesn't seem like such a bad idea.

When you are afraid that if you make Jell-O again you'll just be another crazy white person with an unhealthy obsession.

When you try fitting in at a new job you're afraid you're just trying to mainstream and we all know that's for pussies.

When you want your husband to grow his hair out and start wearing henley shirts.

When you rewind Eric's bathtub scene to see the rumored full monty.

From Flavia today :

When you walk by an audio book “Learn to Speak Swedish” and you actually consider borrowing that from the library. But then you shake your head and realize you really need to put down that remote and get out more.

Send me one and I'll post it next week Email: True Blood in Dallas

You know you've watched too much True Blood when...

You gave Shreveport, LA a place mark on Google Earth. ( map)

You prefer to watch TB alone because that way you can keep rewinding all the Bill and Sookie scenes and not feel like a total obsessive weirdo.

You find yourself desperately searching for any acting SM did previously, get excited because they are showing "The Starter Wife" on tv this weekend and then get your hopes dashed when you realize it's season 2, not season 1.
I have some "Sam heavy " episodes of Starter Wife here and here

You can recite some full scene dialogue to people including each characters lines complete with their individual accent, disposition, quirks and foibles, mannerisms, etc.

...in conversations, you do the the "Lafayette dip" when you say something sassy or are trying to make a point.

you dream of what TB season 4 might be like....

You know you've watched too much True Blood when...

When you go to your sister's house, she has Lafayette's gold thong scene queued up on the Tivo and while watching it, you both recite the dialogue and copy his moves.

You wish Lorena existed so you could stake her for Bill's sake.

You start writing fan fiction!!! Yikes!

You've tried to style your hair like cool Pam (casual Pam great but "Mistress of Fangtasia" is better).

Tuvan Throat Music starts to grow on you

You know you've watched too much True Blood when...

You Google obsessively to try to find recipes for tipsy cake and hoe-cakes (but NOT for tuna cheese casserole) I have all those recipes here

You see someone with a long chain around their neck and you think "vampire drainer."

You read all seven Southern Vampire Mystery books in one weekend,

You start using words and phrases like "untoward" and "lick your mind" in everyday speech.

You stay up till 5 in the morning rewatching the whole season, just cause it seemed right.

You know you've watched too much True Blood when...

you participate in more than one True Blood message board

when your sister finally returns your call, you say "If I remembered what feelings were, mine would be hurt".

You have Frescas, for guests.

you hum the tune to "Bill's Entrance" all the time.

you look in the Shreveport yellow pages for "Fangtasia!"

you obsess about Bill's hair and Bill's tongue. Anything related to Bill, period.

You know you've watched too much True Blood when:

-you explain any and all annoying behavior in fellow humans as "it's the demon!"

-you are discussing the particulars of vampire ejaculation.

-you start talking with a Southern accent even though you live in Canada.

-you get excited that one of your new co-workers is named Bill and you really want to meet him.

-It takes 3 hours to watch an episode, my poor instant replay button.

-you start referring to your basement as the hidey-hole!

-you search antique stores for your very own toasting fork

-you run barefoot through cemeteries in a flowing white negligee

-you suddenly are on board with the graveyard sex.

You know you've watched too much True Blood when:

You start trying to solve problems with "what would Eric do?"

You stop eating garlic....just in case.

When your husband forgets some items on the grocery list and you point at him and proclaim "You are a dead man."

and, you start saying ya'll and you aren't even Southern.

When you look at the sky at twilight and think "The vampires will be rising soon."

When your house begins looking like Jason's basement

You know you've watched too much True Blood when you look to see if any of the dogs in your neighborhood look like Sam's collie! (Alainanoel)

You know you've watched too much True Blood when:

You start categorizing your co-workers into groups: Fangbanger, Vampire, Fellowship of the Sun

Instead of saying, "well, I have things to do", you say "there are urgent matters to which I must attend"

You know it's really bad when you find yourself crossing out the days on the new 2009 calendar until May~ or Until it's August????

Or when you get an email reminding you to donate blood this season and the first thing that pops into your head is Bill saying "or I can get donor blood from a clinic in Monroe ..."

Thanks for these I need more !! send me yours : truebloodindallas@gmail

You know you've watched too much True Blood when:

You take your dog out for his final late night whizz and say to him "Aren't you afraid to be out here with a hungry vampire?"

You can repeat large chunks of TB dialog word for word, and do, for no apparent reason.

You now say "Ja veit" instead of "I know".

Your husband keeps telling himself it could be much worse, it could be drug addiction or gambling or something.

You have dug a hole in your own backyard and will lay there until the next season starts.

You know you've watched too much True Blood when:

You start naming your pets or kids Bill, Eric, Sam, Pam and/or Sookie........

When you catch yourself about to pat a co-worker's shoulder and telling him to "man up, my friend."

When you look at all 7,860 pictures on True Blood Wiki

When driving home in the dark on a country road you keep looking for the Maenad and her wild hog.

When you start feeling the onset of a panic attack every time you think about the long wait ahead for season two to start

When you carry a Charlaine Harris Southern Vampire book around with you everywhere like a preacher carries the Bible.

You know you've watched too much True Blood when:

You see an empty can of Fresca, and you sigh deeply and realize you will never, ever look at a can of Fresca the same way again.

When you Map Quest "Bon Temps."

When you feel the side of your neck to see where the vein is.

When you mention Stephen Moyer in every conversation.

When you read Southern Vampire fan fiction on the computer late at night until you practically see spots.

When you shop online to find a shirt for your husband that looks like the shirts Bill wears.

send me your favorites
truebloodindallas@gmail.com

thanks to eripmay and the posters on the HBO forum

You know you've watched too much True Blood when...

You're going to STOP wearing your silver jewelry, just in case.

You are not as excited about Christmas as you normally are because preparing for it is taking time away from True Blood / Sookie Books.

A co-worker tells you, "You need help...." after saying you think it would "rock" to "be with" a vampire.

You can say all of Sookie and Bill's lines for every episode.

You start all new conversations now with "Do you have HBO?"

You only want to talk to friends who you know can talk forever about True Blood because you just HAVE to HAVE a long conversation about Bill's accent and his piercing eyes or you won't make it through the day....

*post your favorites in comments

You know you've watched too much True Blood when...

You call the actors by their character's names

You watch a show or movie ONLY because someone from True Blood is one it.

You watch the trailer for the 2nd season over and over for clues.

Your scanning the internet to see if TruBlood actually exists

You have a countdown clock for the next season.

Your already saving up or have already ordered season 1.

You refuse to answer anyone unless they call you Cher.

thanks thisbludis4u