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hmmm.. geometric progression , huh ? Funny, I thought it was supernatural and magical ..
Two physicists have published an academic paper where they demonstrate, by virtue of geometric progression, that vampires could not exist, since they would almost immediately deplete their entire food supply (a.k.a, all of us).
If you've ever read Salem's Lot (or seen the lame Starsky and Hutch-era miniseries adaptation starring David Soul), then you know that after a vampire decides to settle in your town, the undead begin to multiply at an alarming rate (he bites two friends, who bite two friends, and so on, and so on…).
Putting aside for a moment the issue of how that would impact neighborhood property values, this phenomenon raises an even more pressing question: If vampires are indeed living (unliving?) among us, then shouldn't we have seen an undead population explosion by now?
http://io9.com/5241252/physicists-prove-that-vampires-could-not-exist
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Physicists Prove That Vampires Could Not Exist
True Blood in Dallas: Physicists Prove That Vampires Could Not ExistTweet this! Posted by " Dallas " at 9:32 AM
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6 comments:
I liked this rebuttal in one of the comments (It's fun taking this stuff seriously!):
"I think I learned about predator/prey population dynamics in 12th grade calculus. By their logic no predators of any kind could exist in the world, since all predator populations would grow exponentially and completely deplete their food sources. Tigers don't exist, QED."
Rose, that is an excellent point. These guys call themselves scientists and they don’t even think of that basic point? Junk science. (Just like how the meteorologist can’t predict the weather with any accuracy next week, but I’m supposed to believe in Global Warming … or Cooling … or whatever the “inconvenient truth” is THIS week).
However, I have another rebuttal. They are operating on an outdated model of how humans become vampires. The “you bite two friends and they bite two friends…” model is no reserved primarily for zombies. That is to say, a situation where a virulent strain of undead disease just sweeps the population resulting in a zombie apocalypse – which is generally the acknowledged outcome of such movies.
Rather, most modern vampire stories operate under the assumption that turning a human is a conscious decision on the vampire’s part – and one not taken lightly. We have seen in the Sookie series, as with so many others, that people are bitten all the time and don’t “vamp out.” It requires very specific conditions – ones not likely to occur by chance. In the stories by P. N. Elrod, even when all the conditions are met, sometimes it still doesn’t “take.”
For just the reasons that Rose mentions, vampires presumably do not want too much competition, either. Zombies are the mindless beasts, but vampires are intelligent, wise with years (or centuries) and part of an undead community. There are presumably rules governing vampire procreation. Vampires aren’t wolves among deer, who kill whenever they’re hungry with no concept of “population dynamics.” They are more like human deer hunters, who have to have a license, can only hunt at certain times and are limited to certain age, gender, size, etc. of prey. (I mean, I presume.)
By the way, did these guys receive grant money for this kind of research? Was this a line item in the Stimulus Bill? I mean, if so, there’s your tax dollars at work for you.
Wow, this was really fun, yet interesting to read. lol
anything that gets you guys talking is a good thing for me ;-)
i think if we are REALLY are looking at wasteful spending medical and scientific research would NOT need to be our first place to look.
You know flat that this particular project or one about toads may not look like much now but it could later lay a foundation of knowledge that would be the vital clue for a new vaccine or cure..
I doubt this effort cost grant money - it's just a mathematical model, I think.
I agree with all you smart posters - plus, in Sookieverse ... vampires usually don't kill to feed, do they? They take a drink ... and "dinner" doesn't remember much about it.
Silly scientists!
He bites 2 friends, and she bites 2 friends....hilarious!This made me laugh out loud!
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