What Not To Say on a First Date, by Sookie Stackhouse : Part III

11) I've seen the man from Memphis and he likes to eat dogs and cats.

12) I'm a friend of the Shreveport pack. Again. Well, after their enemies tried to kill me. And then I helped their Pack Leader figure out he was being duped after a lot of people got killed. There was this whole Were War and it was CRAZY! And now my friend Alcide, who I think still sorta wants to, uhh, well... Anyway, he's Pack Leader now. He still text messages me from time to time. :::buzz::: Hey, that’s him now. Lord, he needs to work on his grammar. What does, “U on date? Not gud call mi l8tr okthanxbai.” mean? :::holds out phone to show him as he jerks away like its on fire:::

13) Some of the Mississippi Weres want to kill me and continue to try to make my life miserable. They constantly send spies and I had to have the last one hexed by witches. Did I mention they are also my roommates? The witches, I mean. Well, the REALLY powerful one just moved out and back in with her sorcerer boyfriend in New Orleans but I really want to go visit soon. Anyhoodle...the spy is now no longer under the psycho from Mississippi's influence so she SHOULD be safe...

14) I've killed two ex girlfriends of men I dated or were interested in dating me. Do you like your ex? :::raises eyebrows:::

15) I've been staked in defense of a vampire who wasn't really a nice person but she wasn't as cah-raaazy as the psycho founder of the Fellowship of the Sun who was trying to kill her. :::barely pauses for breath::: Did I tell you he wants to kill me, too? Yeah, because I was a key player in taking down the FOTS headquarters in Dallas. Then I helped a repentant murdering pedaphile vampire meet the dawn. What a roller coaster ride that was! :::gulps a glass of wine:::