Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Sookie tells Bill about Eric

book 5

“Or your blessing.” He put one of his cool hands on my cheek. “No fever,” he said to himself. “You’ll heal.” Then he sat up straighter. “You slept with Eric while he was staying with you.”
“Why are you asking, if you already know?” There was such a thing as too much honesty.
“I’m not asking. I knew when I saw you together. I smelled him all over you; I could tell how you felt about him. We’ve had each other’s blood. It’s hard to resist Eric,” Bill went on in a detached way. “He’s
as vital as you are, and you share a zest for life. But I’m sure you know that . . .” He paused, seemed to be trying to think how to frame what he wanted to say.
“I know that you’d be happy if I never slept with anyone else in my life,” I said, putting his thoughts into words for him.
“And how do you feel about me?”
“The same. Oh, but wait, you alreadydid sleep with someone else. Before we even broke up.” Bill looked away, the line of his jaw like granite. “Okay, that’s water under the bridge. No, I don’t want to think about you with Selah, or with anyone. But my head knows that’s unreasonable.”
“Is it unreasonable to hope that we’ll be together again?”
I considered the circumstances that had turned me against Bill. I thought of his infidelity with Lorena; but she had been his maker, and he had had to obey her. Everything I’d heard from other vamps had confirmed what he’d told me about that relationship. I thought of his near-rape of me in the trunk of a car; but he’d been starved and tortured, and hadn’t known what he was doing. The minute he’d come to his senses, he’d stopped.
I remembered how happy I’d been when I’d had what I thought was his love. I’d never felt more secure in my life. How false a feeling that had been: He’d become so absorbed in his work for the Queen of Louisiana that I’d begun to come in a distant second. Out of all the vampires who could have walked into Merlotte’s Bar, I’d gotten the workaholic.
“I don’t know if we can ever have the same relationship again,” I said. “It might be possible, when I’m a little less raw from the pain of it. But I’m glad you’re here tonight, and I wish you would lie down with me for a little while . . . if you want to.” I moved over on the narrow bed and turned on my right side, so the wounded shoulder was up. Bill lay down behind me and put his arm over me. No one could approach me without him knowing. I felt perfectly secure, absolutely safe, and cherished. “I’m so glad you’re here,”